10 ways to keep the spice in your love life!

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While the initial honeymoon stage of a relationship fades in order to form a bond that is deeper and more intimate as the two of you become closer and intertwine your lives together, it doesn’t mean that you’re doomed to watch the spark fade away.

happy couple

For anyone who has been in a long-term relationship, there is no single answer on how to keep the spark alive. Keeping your relationship fresh is hard work. Period. And even if you think there’s nothing wrong with your relationship and that your partner isn’t going anywhere, that’s no reason to get complacent. If you’re in a bit of a rut and the fireworks aren’t popping like they used to…



Sometimes too much emphasis is placed on the actual act of sex. Sex happens not just in the body, but also in the mind. Kissing, touching and fooling around can be just as enjoyable and make the whole evening more fun. Slip away at a dinner party for a heavy make out session. Try something risky to boost adrenaline and keep your relationship exciting.


It’s easy to get into the habit of ignoring your partner and taking them for granted. But one of the best things you can do to help reignite the spark in a relationship is to start being attentive to each other. Sometimes, bringing a relationship out into the open can spice things up. Try sending flowers to your partner’s office, or simply embrace them in public. That extra attention will go a long way to make them happy.


Break your routine to reduce predictability and reawaken your partner’s interest. Buy new underwear, restyle your hair, play pranks, change the way you greet your partner or simply sleep on the other side of the bed. Changing things up can go a long way toward improving your relationship and replacing the grumpy resentment from the day-to-day grind with playfulness and lightness.


Practicing gratitude is associated with improved health, happiness and longevity, but in relationships it also improves intimacy and causes surges in attraction. Little, thoughtful gestures can show you care and think of each other when you’re apart. You don’t need to buy things for each other, just do a little something like holding hands or enjoying a sunset together to tell them they’re special to you and on your mind.


When you embrace your partner, how long do you usually stay entwined? A few seconds? Next time, hold on a bit longer. When you hug for at least 20 seconds, it increases levels of oxytocin in both men and women and makes you feel closer.


Working together as a team forces you to communicate in new ways and opens you both up to new sides of one another that you don’t see often. So whether you train together to beat a zombie race, enter a swing dance competition, join a bowling league or exercise together, you are more likely to boost hormones that elevate mood, libido and sexual functioning when you do it, together.


Nurturing your sense of adventure will help you reignite powerful feelings and give you tons of new memories to share. When it comes to rekindling passion, you don’t want “sweet” or “romantic” you want excitement. So go to haunted house, shooting range or amusement park on a spontaneous date instead of the typical dinner and a movie.

Young couple lying on bed together

Clean out your bedroom. It’s the place where you spend time alone with your partner, but there may be roadblocks to seduction. Consider saying goodbye to the television. The flat screen with 700 channels gives you 700 excuses to avoid being intimate.


Once you’re in a relationship, you probably slack off on your looks and it’s likely you don’t dress to catch eyes anymore. Surprise your partner by dressing up nicely and see just how often their eyes land on you. Once you like the way you look, you’ll feel sexy and confident. That alone will get the heart of the relationship pumping again.


There are things your partner can do at times that will drive you batty and bring you to the verge of tears. Some days can feel like a constant critique, but keeping perspective is essential in keeping your relationships fun. Enjoy your time with the person you’ve chosen to be with. Today it doesn’t matter that there’s toothpaste all over the sink or that they left their towel on the floor. Simply relax, let loose and embrace the rare moments together.


Women tend to place everyone else before them, putting their self-care on the back burner. The more you look after your health and welfare, the better you will feel and the more in the mood for love. Work on yourself first. Relationship satisfaction is tied to personal life satisfaction. The happier you are in general, the happier you’re likely to be with a relationship.


Even if you think your relationship just needs a little pick-me-up — as opposed to a lifesaving mission — couples counseling can be the perfect way to help you communicate a little better and clear the air of any built-up resentments or tensions that may be threatening to stamp out your spark. To find a therapist near you, try this link from Psychology Today.

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